TTC

[whitewriter]

where if my mum was late to pick me up, or say, I was waiting for someone and they were late - I'd imagine a "worst case senario" for why they were late: car accidents mostly or some other horrible thing. I'd go into pretty graphic detail in my mind, and every time, maybe 10 mins later they would show up and I would think "phew, it's because, I imagined the worst, and because I thought of it, it didn't happen."

So now I'm furiously imagining all the positive things that would be possible if I m/c'd.

Funny isn't it.

It's not great when you've decided not to tell work mates.

I had a girl divulge she was 10 weeks today and was on ondansteron because of morning sickness and I just kept quiet.

She said it works but not 100%, and that it's expensive.

Apparently she's told her boss (she's from neuro) already.

I wanted to ask so many more questions but there's only so much you can ask on the basis "oh I'm a midwife".

I've had so many "how's it going and whats new" and I keep on with the same same...

I feel crappy.

I thought it was related to the worries of maybe having an ectopic instead of a real pregnancy.

But today I feel like I did yesterday- that nauseous feeling where your sorta hungry but not, like your about to have a big exam - but there isn't one. And loads of burping.

Who knew burping was a thing.

Then I'll eat and feel more burpy.

My cousin in Canada was like "dude you didn't need a scan to confirm if your gassy then that's it" but anyway...

I haven't been back to the GP. I'm in no hurry.

I've told Nicole because she has a friend on IVF in Sydney who I was kinda curious about. And Jen because Jen wanted to know why I couldn't eat sashimi... that's going to be a toughie.
And Bel because I tried to sell my oxfam 100km ticket to her and she guessed right off the bat. So she knows.
I even told her and Nicole, see if I M/C I'll be able to do it and they both berrated me for thinking negitively.

Breast tenderness subsided on Tuesday and I was worried that meant something. It's there but it's not as bad as last week.

How long can I keep quiet for...