RAMBLINGS OF A MIND UNTAMED

Just where it feels like too many things are going wrong.

Nothing like, life changing in a sense like no one died or you know. Got infirmed.

For example. First bad part of the day:
1. the key wasn't in the lockbox for training this morning despite me arriving 10 mins early at 5:20 in the morning. So I stood around and wondered if we were even going to get in the one training session of the day, and secondly, I was a little pissed this issue of not having the key was ongoing.
They're fixing it. So that's something. Training went ahead but we were slightly late to start rather than being early and Brian was a gem and he got us people that need to race to other activities back in time.

2. Postnatal ward stopped giving single rooms out to elective cesarian women because "that was never a thing" and "all babies are noisy".

They seriously want some pain, like this lady was a dense block - and her baby literally wouldn't stop crying unless someone was holding it and by someone I mean mother. And yes we fed it. lol it's not a regular standard quiet for the first 1 or even 2 days baby, it was literally a non stop wimperer. And the mother couldn't stop vomiting so we gave her cyclazine and it made her drowsy. Then you put her in a double bedded bay next to another lady who is now about to suffer. Like is this on purpose to make no. 16 discharge?

And the father is worried his wife and baby won't get enough assistance overnight so not even a MIL or himself can stay because its a double room and thats the rules. -- like this is not a normal baby so your just creating work for the night staff. the MIL staying over would likely be a huge help.

Anyways, not my problem I tried talking to various people even the incharge whom I didn't know and she literally laughed in my face.

Well if I was the night staff I'd be so mad at her. Because afterwards I discharged 2 ladies to the ward and they were the easiest as pie with quietest babies in the world who would have been fine in a double room, some even didn't have partners sticking around cause they h ad multiple kids at home and were indpendent breastfeeders who were staying for minor minor reasons like no swish before discharge available at the time the baby was allowed to go home 6 hours after a birth at 1030am.

It just made me so mad.

2. then my mum called and said the cops pulled her over and fined her for her registration not being up to date. And its meant to be 3x $800 because its over 6 months but he was nice and only fined her $800.

Who is responsible for car registration? Me.
And my head was in a spin over that. Like her registration as a pensioner is FREE.
FREE.
AND NOW ITS $800 but like for why. And where did I fuck up. I was talking to so many people I met and one guy said the insurance company wont register an uninsured car. Check your insurance.

And then I went to check and low and behold he was right. The green slip CTP is not listed and I can tell I obviously then didn't pay for it, and how did I miss this (Cause her registration is meant to be automatic if all the bills are paid and theres literally like 3 steps to this process - get the car assessed for a pink slip, the guy will tick a box online. then i pay the mandatory insurance as per govt and then the govt will rego it for free cause pensioner.)

Well. I didn't do the 2nd step. Because get this, the bill amounts were so similar I must have gotten confused
Legit. One says %648 and the other says $643.

FML. sighs. Okay my fault , As my mum says she gets plenty of free money from the government so what is the matter to give them $800 back for me making a mistake?

Just how it is

3. then this arvo I was reviewing my flights for rarotonga race in NOV and realised that actually due to time difference of the country I am now arriving on the Monday instead of the Sunday and that feels like, way too late for me. Like mentally I was prepared to come and work a Sunday N12 shift so I can make this trip happen and not take AL because there is literally none available that week because silly me, m issed the email to apply for AL. and it filled up.

so. Now I don't want to stay away from my family that long either.

I will likely change my flights. I thankfully bought refundable flights so this won't be too bad and - I'm happy to miss the afterparty to be honest, like. Attending the race is plenty enough. Thing is the flight I am looking at leaves at 9pm on a Friday. That's tight when we might be having a race that starts at noon. a 36km race. probably takes at least 4 hours.

Anyways its well past bedtime at 11pm. Time to end this not very good, but not entirely terrible day.

As my boss kindly said, after I detailed to her why I was so mad (lol she probably could tell by my face it wasn't an average "I'm just so average today" type of average) things could be worse. And they totally could be.

I sacrificed making a pumpkin cheesecake tonight to come here and write.

To be fair, it would probably be a lot shorter typing in here than it would be to make the pumpkin cheesecake. For starters, its not just mixing time but also, the time it takes to bake the thing.

I have a moderately long list of things to buy but also a lack of willing to put in the hard yards to find a good one, but sometimes stars align.

Like tonight we got delivery of a rat cage from Manly, 2nd hand. I think the owner just really wanted to get rid of it. It would be maybe $340 new or something like that, and it would have come in flat packed (and needed to be put together) but instead for $100 it came as one peice, already put together and the owner delivered it cause they were just so pleased it was going to someone who said they were also going to adopt rats. They had a set of 3 and they are getting rid of the things because the last one just passed away after 3 years, which is a pretty standard life span. The cage even came with all these fabulose and expensive looking toys that are like good for rat stimulation. Like honestly, I've had rats before, and I barely spend a cent on them. My cages would be poorly found things that had large gaps so the rat could technically escape (lol) but you know what they usually didn't. They knew and sensed their home. And we'd play with them with found objects, like whatever simple stuff so it really wasn't an expensive thing to do. And I'd feed them treats which were like a spoonful (separate spoon) from my plate of dinner. I wouldn't buy them like "extra treats" etc.

To be fair however, $100 isn't the most I'd spend on a rat. I took charlie to the vet once and yes that bill was high and after that I bought a rat first aid book for $11 which is somewhere (I should go look for it), which listed a lot of useful information from diseases, medications, doseages, calculations by weight etc. how to euthanase at home etc.

Anyhow. So I got the cage now.

Other things on my to do list to buy: a tall cabinet for storing toys (haha yes) But in order to put it in I need to start a council clean up of a few things I don't need.

Story of life in the late 30s: the epic battle of stuff. Too much of it, randomly keeping things for too long and realising they gotsta go. It's the only benefit of a small house, it makes you rethink faster things to reduce. Space is finite. If I arranged it better I think life would be better...

Pete said his parents limited his access to toys with a toy cupboard- 1 out at a time, put it back for another etc. I think this actually allows for more engaging play, Because what i see when its all out, they literally just dump it into a pile. and Nothing happens. It just becomes a dumped pile of stuff.

...What is that even...

Same story different smell, every day around 4pm I think yes! I can come here and write something- I'm looking forward to it.

And then 8pm hits and I have the chores in front of me (laundry, kitchen) and an hour later I'm pooped. Chores are done and I think ah well the diary can wait another day.

And indeed it can.

And indeed it does.

And before you know it, it's been a month or whatever and I've forgotten whatever thing I wanted to come in here and write about.

My mum
This week she's gone batty again. On Monday she rang me while I was at work - without asking me if I was at work , at like 2pm to just rant about how Woolworths wouldn't give her her money back for a refund on an item she purchased and didn't realise didn't have a discount on until after she had paid the $39 dollars for it. When she said she didn't want it - after handing over $39 in cash, they told her they could only give her store credit as a piece of paper. Then she got angry at the lady and said she would loose that piece of paper. The lady told her it was "store policy". Then my mum got angry that her everyday rewards card was my card- so all the points she thought she was accruing were going to me who was like, using them, Well lady, you wouldn't spend as much as me at the shops cause I'm buying for like 4 people - and your buying for one - so really those are my points but sure - I'll make you your own everyday rewards card. Somehow she conflated the 2 problems as 1 problem, like if she had her own everyday rewards card the lady who was processing the refund which was her fault (for not noticing it cost $39 dollars for the battery instead of $20 or whatever) was related to her not having an everyday rewards card (i wonder if the lady would have put the store credit onto h er everyday rewards account? I'm totally confused how these 2 issues are related because my mum was mad that her money now could only be converted to store credit and she wanted the cash back in her hand so she could go spend it at a variety of other independent stores unrelated to this store.

Anyways.

Whatever, I then drove 30 mins out of my way and 20 mins back again to go to her house, and create an everyday rewards account for her and teach her how to use it. Your welcome Woolworths and thanks for nothing you greedy blood sucking bastards.

Islanders are good at birth
But on Monday we had a p0 with a 3c vaginal wall tear that required a repair in OT under a GA. She gave birth precipitously after a prolonged latent phase that required syntocinon augmentation -
after poor antenatal care transferring from another hospital with a missed OGTT and HbA1c of 6.1 which is high - btw - so likely GDM untreated, to a 3kg baby.

It's like what is wrong with this picture
Ding! She gave birth on all 4s!
boo it was in a shower and the way she was facing the midwife couldn't see her perineum
Ding! she's Islander
Booo She might have had diabetes and was at risk for a large baby
Ding! The baby was a normal size and also had normal BGLs after birth so she probably didn't have GDM
Boo but she's decided not to breastfeed for some unknown reason. She's young? She's islander? yes those are risk factors for low breastfeeding rates but
Boo again she had poor antenatal care - so it's hard to assess if at any point someone raised these issues and
Boo she missed her appt to get an iron transfusion so she had a Hb of 88!!! yes 88!!! in her 3rd trimester no she's not vegitarian --
and after the tear which caused bleeding from trauma her EBL was 700mls
and the hb dropped to 58. Like 58 what1?!?!?!?!

Yes she had 2 units of PRBC + iron transfusion that same day with me. But what I would like to know is: would the extreme low iron state have influenced the 3c tear. like, risk of tear. Because by all accord she was low risk for a 3c tear.

Anyways.

Ha in the birth notes it said she was waiting for an epidural but like, the baby was coming too quick and there it was the end.

But she was labouring all night with N2O2 only I think and the last Vaginal exam was 5cm at like 4am and the baby was born by 8am. And she said to the Dr I don't understand how I was at 5 cm and suddenly I was fully - but its like lady. There was 4 hours between 4am and 8am. So really, It wasn't so sudden after all.

Parking
I refused to pay for Parking at the hospital carpark.

I am there so infrequently these days, a week I might come twice and the next week not there at all and the carpark attendant expects 4 weeks notice that I'm not going to be there to stretch out the parking dates that I have to prepay for 13 weeks in advance. Like come on. This sounds like such a bad deal.

I was running mildly late for work. Likely n ot that late but because I'm used to arriving like 15 to 20 mins early, it felt late. It seems cause I live close to MISH I've gotten leaving my house at xyz time down to a fine science but because I live so far from SSH, I give plenty of time for accident on the high way, or like, bad weather, or like, bad traffic to screw up my plans.
I was about to pay the $25 for parking but cause I was late for once I saw quite a few staff walking down the hill towards the hospital and I realised no you can do it! everyone else is doing it - and so I tried for a parking spot at the top of the hill and I found one relatively easily after passing 3 streets of 2p parking restrictions. Screw the govt and their restricted parking. Come on guys.
Whatever.
I can walk. Your just taxing the poor people who haven't the legs.

And I made it on time too.

Now. What can I do with the spare $25...

We went on a Saturday morning around noon for a 2pm check in.
Aiming to arrive at circular quay around 12 noon, to meet up with (my cousins) for lunch and early island arrival so we could have more time on the island.

When we arrived there was somewhere for us to leave our things near the visitors center.
There is also a BBQ area, picnic spot and toilet all within 50m of the ferry terminal and visitors center making it very easy to not have to carry your things too far.

We brought a lot of things. It was 2 adults and 2 kids (myself and Nonnie + the kids)
And I had hired an "extra mat" for $15 because I thought the tent came with 2 mats and 2 chairs. Turns out that was a 4th mat so I gave the mat for Nonnie to have a double mat.

It was a foam mat, and I was told they're insulating on a cold floor and its totally true - I was very toasty warm all night.

Wendy and May 2 were small enough to sleep end to end both in the same sleeping bag and like feet to feet, as the bag had 2 zips so I could unzip the bottom. Wendy used her sleeping bag (I had brought 1 very large bag per kid : it can last until they are 14ish) as a pillow in the end.
And I placed Wendy by the zipper door telling her "She's the big sister and can make sure we all stay in for the night and she was happy with that explaination.

You can't bring a camp stove to cook, but there is a BBQ site with utensils connected to the actual BBQ for the campers. There is a large fridge which fills quickly because everyone leaves their food in their cooler bag and just shoves it into the fridge. The site wasn't full so this could be a problem if it was.

There's also lots of large picnic tables, under a cover with trees that have fairy lights on them for ambiance, a hot water urn that seems to be on 24/7 and 2 microwaves and a large 6 slice but 3 button toaster.


There's also hot showers that are quite spacious - but my only complaint is that out of the 6 stalls only 2 had toilet with the shower in it. There's multiple other sets of toilets on the island, one of which is near the visitor center that is about 150m away

They lit a shared campfire aruond 6pm
and played a movie in a mini theater around 7pm (kid friendly)
and a more adult movie around 9pm.

There were party boats going around the island playing very loud music, lots of kids staying up late riding their bicycle and etc.

And it seemed like a lot of helicopters going overhead. At midnight! And they fly so low - it woke Wendy up and she wanted to go pee despite having a night nappy on.

May2 slept well. She initially fell asleep on the train ride over so her day nap was all of 20 mins
and then no more sleeping at all so at about 730pm in the movie cinema she fell asleep.

So the plan was:
5PM: dinner and Pete took home a large backpack full of extra food I'd brought or my cousins brought and we wouldn't need for breakfast) at
6pm we did the marshmellows on the fire. Hot tip, bring ur own sticks from home its very hard to find sticks on the island. I brought skewers but they were rather short for the kids so I did it. Would have been better with longer sticks.

6:30ish pM brush teeth and "shower" (which in hindsight was a little cruel because it was a little cold. But it is hot water... then you get that clean feeling. I ended up not having time to actually try the hot shower because we ran out of time somehow. So I ended up just showering at home when we got back..
19:00 Movie.

Someone had brought popcorn to the cinema and while I had prepared a bag of microwave popcorn, we'd just brushed their teeth so I left it. Wendy loves popcorn. In the end though May2 looked dehydratedish so I made the hot chocolate i had planned to make for them and Wendy drank a huge cup of it. By the time I brought it, May2 was asleep already so that didn't work and no we didnt rebrush Wendys teeth.

Movie finished around 830pm and I carried May2 back in my arms down this large hill all the way to the tent and managed to put her in a sleeping bag. She stirred a little but went right back to sleep.

In the morning they had cerial because that's what they wanted. I also had bread cause hello! Toaster. I could see and smell people cooking a lot of bacon and eggs on the BBQ. Some even had egg rings and were totally toasting the bread on the bbq also. Maybe next time.

Eventually we packed up, went one more trip around the island via the tunnel I missed out on the day before and then took the ferry back. What I had expected to be a relaxing arvo putting the house back together turned out to be a rush to Indo school as due to ANZAC weekend next weekend, they're not doing class next week, - but instead are doing it this week.

Ibu Andy made nasi kuning and ayam goreng and they even gave me takeaway which became May2 dinner and my lunch for tomorrow. She remembered I said I like emping and she had made some of that also. Luckily I came to school!

Nonnie wanted to know what I would have packed differently - nothing but I would have preferred to have had a trolley instead of the shopping bag, but I dont know how one would go transfering from train platforms with large gaps and if any have breaks for use on hills.
Because that was a bit difficult to manage- the hiking pack and the kids backpacks and a dinner trolley. And no pram and may2 had fallen asleep on the train so at one point I was carrying, the pack, the kid and a nice lady helped take the trolley off the train for me.

There's a podcast on the ABC called conversations.
It's called a podcast now but 20 years ago it was probably called a radio show.

Wendy at Woolworths. She wants a trolley but they need a gold coin and I don't have one, I only have silver coins "mummy we have to go buy one!"

--------


In the morning it's 6am and may2 woke up. She walked out of their room before crying. And then I pick her up and give her a cuddle to the kitchen and say: may may want a banana?
And she giggles and says yes.

Like duh how did you know?
And I sit her down and give her a banana at the table
I ask her if she wants to peel it and she nodded and says cut.
I say I'll give her a kids knife. And she gets all excited for it.
2 year olds can be so easy to please.
And she says

Are you go to work? (I suppose because she saw my uniform.
And I say yes.
And she gives the most satisfied smile ever. Like yes! I know everything.

I kiss Pete goodbye and then may2 demands a kiss too. She looks sad because Its taking a while. She gets her kiss. And then says " I want hug". She gets that too
And then shes happy with her banana