Back in ICU for nights
Jan. 5th, 2021 08:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
whitewriter(posted Jan 17 but written Jan 5, 2021)
Night one
Bed 24
First vent in what feels like 2 years.
On handover: you should have the perfect night
In reality: a restless mess sat before me, breathing up on the ventilator to 40 breaths/min (way too many)
Continuously slumping in the bed (worsening my ability to use upright position to reduce the effect of his huge abdomen on respiratory)
This is what happens when you have treated hepatitis and yet it still ruins your life with ongoing issues post hemi-hepatectomy.
I call it issues, the doctors called it:
Hostile abdomen, peritonitis with fungaemia post ilea resection.
Hostile is accurate.
Looking at this man I see a very good reason not to refuse the hepatitis B vaccination.
There were a couple of admissions overnight and the access of the night was the same one as last week:
She's hostile too. I remember when she was an IP she was much nicer. We even went out for a group breakfast at one stage.
I don't see that happening any time soon (me socialising in her circle and enjoying it).
I come back and he's sedated on midazolam and much more comfy looking.
Night Two
Bed 35
I was next to bed 35 last week in bed 36 and I didn't realise they were carbon copies but due to different reasons and currently undergoing different trajectories.
Bed 36 was necrotising pancreatitis (not sure from what) who is 77 and being palliated
Bed 35 is VF arrest, - which possibly caused a hypoperfused pancreas, which is now necrotising, and meanwhile she's here for her Permanent pace maker, they don't want to put a permanent one in until the necrotising is resolved.
She's been here since 11/12/20 and had 2x
necrosectomies (honestly, never used that word before).
She's just like bed 36.
Multiple, leaky drains.
Not smelling quite like a toilet but certainly unpleasant.
Still for full measures.
She's so odematous I could barely bend her knees to roll her.
Abdomen is almost as hostile looking as bed 24
Drain sites stare at you angrily and just ooze out: refusing to enter the actual drain to leave the body.
There was a respiratory deterioration with aspiration yesterday so here we are, back on the vent tonight.
54 days of going around in circles. Too sick for a PPM, here for a PPM, getting worse and not really getting better, investigations of the abdomen, still cruddy, lets do another op, cut more necrotising whatever, drain the output, stick in a new drain, rinse and repeat back in ICU.
I think I scared my bed-side neighbour (Lets call him Harry) off doing midwifery tonight.
I was explaining how I got questions I didn't think I'd have to face when I was doing it, but basically through on the job experience, learnt to parrot back prepared answers for certain common questions. And he's like what questions and I'm like oh you know: How do I know my breastmilk is going to be enough?
I think I made Harry blush for a few seconds there.
Then there's the back ache from the cots that don't go up or down.
Or the babies in SCN crying at you and becoming a nasty person wishing they'd just shut the F- up, and you turn them on their tummies (number 1 thing not to do to your baby we are trained to teach the women) and shove a dummy in their gob (and we're meant to give direction on here too, like we're experts - though we ain't and most midwives would also leave a room thinking : and well they're going to go home and do whatever the f they want anyways).
And how the male students frequently got kicked out of rooms by the women. But I still think that's related to the demographic of MSH more than anything sus about their personality.
That being said, some of them are rather "player" type males who don't even understand DV from the woman's point of view (they see it as, that some women are "asking for it"... and while I get that could be a possibility, i think that's rare, and as a man, if that happened to you: you need to be the bigger person and walk away... rather than becoming a perpetrator of DV... ) in which case its not to say men aren't ever the victims of DV: hell, I've seen it with my own eyes--
but that's another tale for another day.
Night one
Bed 24
First vent in what feels like 2 years.
On handover: you should have the perfect night
In reality: a restless mess sat before me, breathing up on the ventilator to 40 breaths/min (way too many)
Continuously slumping in the bed (worsening my ability to use upright position to reduce the effect of his huge abdomen on respiratory)
This is what happens when you have treated hepatitis and yet it still ruins your life with ongoing issues post hemi-hepatectomy.
I call it issues, the doctors called it:
Hostile abdomen, peritonitis with fungaemia post ilea resection.
Hostile is accurate.
Looking at this man I see a very good reason not to refuse the hepatitis B vaccination.
There were a couple of admissions overnight and the access of the night was the same one as last week:
She's hostile too. I remember when she was an IP she was much nicer. We even went out for a group breakfast at one stage.
I don't see that happening any time soon (me socialising in her circle and enjoying it).
I come back and he's sedated on midazolam and much more comfy looking.
Night Two
Bed 35
I was next to bed 35 last week in bed 36 and I didn't realise they were carbon copies but due to different reasons and currently undergoing different trajectories.
Bed 36 was necrotising pancreatitis (not sure from what) who is 77 and being palliated
Bed 35 is VF arrest, - which possibly caused a hypoperfused pancreas, which is now necrotising, and meanwhile she's here for her Permanent pace maker, they don't want to put a permanent one in until the necrotising is resolved.
She's been here since 11/12/20 and had 2x
necrosectomies (honestly, never used that word before).
She's just like bed 36.
Multiple, leaky drains.
Not smelling quite like a toilet but certainly unpleasant.
Still for full measures.
She's so odematous I could barely bend her knees to roll her.
Abdomen is almost as hostile looking as bed 24
Drain sites stare at you angrily and just ooze out: refusing to enter the actual drain to leave the body.
There was a respiratory deterioration with aspiration yesterday so here we are, back on the vent tonight.
54 days of going around in circles. Too sick for a PPM, here for a PPM, getting worse and not really getting better, investigations of the abdomen, still cruddy, lets do another op, cut more necrotising whatever, drain the output, stick in a new drain, rinse and repeat back in ICU.
I think I scared my bed-side neighbour (Lets call him Harry) off doing midwifery tonight.
I was explaining how I got questions I didn't think I'd have to face when I was doing it, but basically through on the job experience, learnt to parrot back prepared answers for certain common questions. And he's like what questions and I'm like oh you know: How do I know my breastmilk is going to be enough?
I think I made Harry blush for a few seconds there.
Then there's the back ache from the cots that don't go up or down.
Or the babies in SCN crying at you and becoming a nasty person wishing they'd just shut the F- up, and you turn them on their tummies (number 1 thing not to do to your baby we are trained to teach the women) and shove a dummy in their gob (and we're meant to give direction on here too, like we're experts - though we ain't and most midwives would also leave a room thinking : and well they're going to go home and do whatever the f they want anyways).
And how the male students frequently got kicked out of rooms by the women. But I still think that's related to the demographic of MSH more than anything sus about their personality.
That being said, some of them are rather "player" type males who don't even understand DV from the woman's point of view (they see it as, that some women are "asking for it"... and while I get that could be a possibility, i think that's rare, and as a man, if that happened to you: you need to be the bigger person and walk away... rather than becoming a perpetrator of DV... ) in which case its not to say men aren't ever the victims of DV: hell, I've seen it with my own eyes--
but that's another tale for another day.
