whitewriter | Things I'm thankful for

1. I have a job. That I don't think I worked very hard to get. Like it wasn't easy easy, but I also feel that it would be silly for a district to waste the 140k or so it would have spent training a midwife not to keep them at work for even a short while. It's cheaper to have a perminant staffer than hiring agency or casual pool, even if they're on 8th year wages.

Not to mention having a second job for extra security (if my mental health can't get through this difficult time I can just say fuck it to keeping all my long service and just quit and go back at a moment's notice). That's been nice to know.

2. P bought me a house.
Well. Technically we probably poured in about 50/50 but it's the financial support we both provided each other through the experience. Knowing the other won't go wasting the money on gambling, and are usually pretty reasonable with expenses. It's nice to have that security on two levels. (Somewhere to live where you don't feel judged and that one day it'll be both of yours fully).

3. That I have nice friends who care and reciprocate. Who reciprocate my friendship and don't breadcrunb me (yet).

4. That i have my own freedom of choice that I worked hard to achieve. I can dictate to an extent where and how much I work.. my house is my house and if I want to paint a wall or knock something down I could .. when I want to buy something I just get it.... (I'm not someone who sports $5g channel handbags but within the relm if normal there are no restrictions).

5. My acne is under control and due to the oily nature of my skin I look younger than I am.

I was talking to a midwife who did two years of law and then gave that up as a student to do midi. It's not as stressful as med and not as "dirty" as nursing, and can be quite autonomous, so that's how she chose it. Law she said was amoral, filled with how to lie without lying. And she'd be too picky about the type of law she did so in the end she gave it up.

I applied for law school once but couldn't see myself doing it so despite getting in I turned it down.

It's interesting how we find ourselves in this place.

I'm in the tea room eating dinner with the midwife involved in the NND case..

I'm struggling through Barnsmaid's series, then flipped to some smutt reccomended on the top tens list by Naidia Law. I'm sure I read it as a early teen. I shared a room with my cousin and it was 90s internet and I wasn't close with any of my friends... So that was my porn *giggles* the writing is nowhere near as good as Bonetree or even Barnsmaid (like I struggle to read it but my struggle is not related to quality) but it's smutt. Who needs smutt to be realistic? The writer tried hard to write it well. So I guess I'm thankful that ff provides a plentyful bounty from which to take my mind off other things...

Things could be worse.